Lessons From A Two Bedroom Apartment

It will be one year since we lost our three-bedroom two-story house and moved our family west into a two-bedroom apartment.  I was afraid of this move.  I was used to the big backyard, the girls having their own rooms and  every corner of that place was furnished and perfected.  Jerry and I worked on re-modeling the house for a year. Sanding cabinets, laying wood laminate, and painting every wall filled our kid-less evenings in our early years of marriage.  It was just how I wanted it, my colors, my furniture, my everything. Kids came and filled the air with joy, toys, and diapers.  The wood floors came in very handy during the spills and potty training.  The backyard was a haven for bikes, roller skates, and cars.  Parties, jumpers, and many cozy get- togethers filled the space with laughter and joy.  I loved it.

But with all of the joys, it was also a burden. Financially the house started to wear heavy on our shoulders, bogging us down and keeping us awake at night.  As with many others, we were upside down and felt our spirits being crushed year after year.  Then we received the devastating news that my husband was "let go" at his job of 7 years.  Although this was something really difficult, it turned into little rays of hope.  We no longer had a choice,we MUST let our house go. We MUST make choices that will help us financially.  Then it was exciting........... we had no choice but to rely on the Lord.

We talked through dreams, we assessed our goals and we knew we needed to downsize, re-focus, and learn a few things.  As I packed up all of my possessions and sold items at an absurd price (from what I bought them at), I became bitter, almost challenging God thinking, "you better make this work, I'm really relying on you."

Everything was unknown, when we would move....where we would move.......there wasn't much we could say we knew. And boy looking back, I really didn't know what this last year was going to teach me.

Soon enough, the timing was defined, my husband found a job, we found an apartment, and February 14th was the day we could start moving in.  I was petrified.  How am I going to do this?  I was going to be a "commuter" to work, we were down a bedroom, no backyard, an outside dog would become an inside dog, and the list.... the fears, went on and on.

Looking back on the last year I wanted to share a few of the many lessons I have learned living in my two bedroom apartment.

We can see and hear the freeway from outside our building.
At first I thought this would be a draw-back.  But this has been a constant reminder that we gain and hour of time a night with my husband.  As I stare at the traffic I'm reminded about the many nights he was late and frustrated because he missed the girls' bedtime.  It is ironic that I whisper a prayer of praise whenever I see the daily 91 parking lot.

2) My closet is ridiculously small

I had my own closet that held all my winter and summer clothes.  Now I "share" a closet with Jerry.  This has taught me that I don't really need that many clothes.  And, I've learned that in some places of the world, the size of my current closet is the size of someone's  room.....so I'm grateful.

3) I can hear the upstairs neighbor

This seems self explanatory but there is some comfort in knowing someone is awake, close, and there.  I knew my neighbors schedule and we would often chat about the weather, the power outages, and just about anything that we could while passing each other by.  We built a community without even trying.

4) My girls had to share a room

This gave me a lot of Mommy guilt.  Mostly because I had a brother and didn't share a room ever.  But I really felt bad having to put them together.  But this has brought them to be so close.  Just the other night MarKay told me she woke up to Piper crying and she went to calm her down so she could go back to sleep.  It really melts my heart that we are forcing a bond that hopefully will never be broken.

5) No backyard

Another Mommy guilt scenario for the dog and my girls.  But it forces us to get out, go walking, riding bikes, riding skates, or go to the playground at the office.  My dog hasn't been walked so much in her life and my girls have loved every outing we take.

6) Just no space for anything

This has taught me to give more than I ever have.  Realizing my "things" are not my own, I have too many of them, and others are in need more than myself.  I have never given more away, not because I wasn't willing to, but because I didn't have to. Also, I am never too far away from any of my loved ones.  They are all an earshot away. Forced to give things away and forced to be closer together......it has been heaven.

In the end, all of these "truths" about my apartment have taught me, changed me, formed me.  I like who I am in this smaller, more humble state.  It feels simple, calm......right.  All my fears, my unknowns could not possibly prepare me for the joy of a possession-less year.  Never did I think I would be praising God for a job and house lost.  It's in those losses I have gained.  I gained a new perspective, new joys.....new life.  When "normal" becomes smaller all the while my heart grows bigger.  Where the future is endless and fear is no longer the first emotion I feel.  So, here's to another year of lessons from my two-bedroom apartment.