Chiseled

Since I have chosen to live a fully authentic life, I have found that one of the hardest elements in this unauthentic world are relationships. From shedding expectations to building up walls of protection.....this is by far the most difficult area for me to maintain a true vulnerability. It's no wonder that my relationship with God can be so complex.....I've seen and realized now more than ever how real my relationship with Him is becoming.  The following piece is one that was formed out of my mind then was read and rejected by another mind (I had submitted it to a well known blog).  These posts or articles are the very pieces of my soul and this one in particular has been a "favorite" of sorts.  Although after re-reading this I find this "rejection" all the more ironic.  This past week I also have experienced rejection in different ways through completely unrelated circumstances. I almost chuckle and grin when I think of this feeling.....this pit in the stomach kind.

But alas, my hope for you is that "one mans trash is another mans treasure" and that you would be blessed on some level with this piece.  As for me, I will take to heart my own words, moving forward in realization that this is just another opportunity for me to be.......

Chiseled


Recently I've had several people in my life experience painful relationships. Whether it has been a break-up, a broken friendship, or a painful relative, it seems that relationships define us.

As I sat and thought of these people and myself I started realizing that we are created, formed, and developed by the people in our lives.

As life has gone by I look back and see myself to be a piece of stone.  I started out as a huge mass of rock, grey, solid, and alone.  Each person I have encountered has taken a piece of me, chiseling away at my being. They break away the corners and edges, rounding out and smoothing the rough places.

With some relationships the pain has been the breaking of my spirit or the dream of what could have been. Those tough break-ups where I wondered what I was thinking. Or when I broke the heart of someone else.  The sadness of hurting someone I cared about. Then there is the friendships that went astray,  whether it was over an incident or just the realization that they were not who I thought they were. Or perhaps the most common in my life, the friendship that doesn't develop into the one I need. An authentic, real, deep connection which requires vulnerability.

Other relationships are painful, they drive me to be better, breaking away the unnecessary, the jagged, the porous chunks that don't belong.  These are my family. My closest connection to my soul.....the ones who bore me, raised me or decided to be with me forever.  My soul sisters or deepest friends who don't always agree with me but can understand me and meet me at the crossroads. Who can respect me and demand the best of me.  Or my leaders who challenge and grow me. Who develop my skills and
abilities to the highest level and capability.

Time after time I encounter these relationships, some on-going and some just take their pieces and leave. When these relationships hammer and take a chunk out of me, sometimes it feels violating. I entrust them with their chisel and they leave the dust behind with crumbs of stone crumpled on the floor. I look down at the destruction and wonder how any of this could make sense.

In the end, these people, moments in time form me, polish me and make me who I am supposed to be.

God my ultimate sculptor, allows these people to come and hammer on my soul and my character, all for the end result......His masterpiece.

At times there is a resistance, an unwillingness to be formed. Questioning these moments of despair and hurt. Other times it is welcomed, a known purpose, a necessary step in the Master Plan.

Each relationship that comes or goes gets a precious piece of me, and I get a piece of them. If I whence at the sight of a hammer and wedge, or feel the sting of a broken relationship, I pray that I remember the piece of stone, the end result.

More  importantly I pray for the willingness, the ability to open up and allow the sculptor to do His job....His will.  When I come face to face with the perfect creator, I will be revealed.  The final product will reflect every relationship, every crease and crevice perfected by Him. Because of this, I pray to give up control. Give up the strong
hold of my stone. I want to willingly become malleable under His hand and remember that I am being whittled away, formed, created........chiseled.