Pure Abandon

Pure Abandon

 I love this title. I want to be this title. My child Piper is this title. She is 2 years old in September and she embodies pure abandon. Not long ago she started running at full speed. I would watch her and wonder how the heck she was staying on her feet! She wobbles and meanders but never worries or fears what is going to happen. This girl has no fear of injury. I will surely be in the ER with her plenty of times in my life (fb updates will keep you posted). :)

Recently she fell at full-speed. She hit her head straight on the concrete. Bleeding, she got up with scrapes all over her face and cried for a bit. Fully expecting to go home, I was shocked that the girl wanted to keep going.....to the park. She wiped the blood from her nose and kept walking, clearly determined not to quit. Her destination was more important than her failure. I ADMIRE her perseverance and long to be more like this beautiful representation of abandon.

Have you ever felt abandon? The kind of abandon when you don't try, you don't manipulate, you don't have expectations and you don't have an agenda? That is what makes it pure....it just happens. I can recall moments of abandon. When I let go of all control and live completely in the moment. When I don't care what people think, what I'm wearing, or how dumb I look. When all the world is fading away and I am soaring. I picture it as skydiving......jump out and soar with no care in the world. But do we live this way? Do we take each moment and abandon ourself to it? I know I don't.

 I see my daughter live this everyday. She has no fear of previous circumstances, she throws herself into the moment, and is ok with failing, she will pick herself up and KEEP GOING. She may have not reached her destination but she will die trying. She will shed some tears, wipe off the blood and continue without fear.

I recently had a first-impression moment. I just couldn't wait to get it over with. I seriously thought to myself, "once this is over, a weight will be lifted off of me." Have you ever felt that way? Maybe a presentation or job interview or just a tough week ahead. As the dreaded moment is coming closer I remembered "pure abandon." What if I went INTO this situation with pure abandon instead of feeling weightless AFTER it was over? What if I was completely throwing myself into authenticity? What if I REALLY believed God and His will for my life? It would be then and only then.....I would take that petrifying leap.

But why, why don't I just jump? Because....... I don't want to jack up my face. I'm afraid of the fall, the blood, the tears. I don't want to fail. Joy for me is still not in the process but in after reaching the final destination. My destination determines my mood. If I fall.....I fail.

Piper has taught me that falling is apart of the journey. She shows me courage and heart. She lives fully as a child of God and embraces failure. Sadly I know this too will fade for her. She will see the scrapes in her reflection and feel ashamed. We as parents and educators will tell her to confine her abandon. But I pray she can harness this ability to live freely, without fear. I am blessed to witness it and desire to have a few cuts and bruises myself. And although I am the WORST example of authenticity, I strive to live it....to fall....to fail....to bleed.