It's Open House, Now Put Away Your Stapler!
I've never really focused on work in my blog before but when focusing on authenticity, it is hard to overlook Open House.
Open House is a lovely time when parents can come to your classroom and admire all your work and see where you sit, who you sit next to and talk to your teacher. As a child I remember showing my mom my pencil box and the books in my desk. I loved coming to school at night and I had so much pride in my classroom.
Now that I'm a teacher I wonder what has changed. Is it the "times" or the fact that I'm an over-achiever?
Last Thursday I was frantically finishing my final touches to my classroom before the doors opened....That morning I picked out the perfect outfit and brought everything I needed to look my "best." I had backed everything in my room with black construction paper, searched high and low for a 3-D shark to make for one of my walls, and I even found my educated self (with a masters, mind you) coloring ocean animals. I think the point where I said, "what the heck is wrong with you," is when I started shoving everything that is real into cabinets and drawers. "They can't see this pile of ungraded work," I thought. I started putting extra papers, clutter and everyday teacher items away. Post-it's, teacher manuals, pencils, scissors, and yes even my stapler found its way thrown into the cabinet. Finally I looked around and it was perfect....and completely a facade.
The truth is there is dust, piles, clutter and half-wrinkled student work every single day. Open House is the epitome of in-authenticity. Why do I try so hard to shove the "truth" in the closet? Because.......I want you to believe the lie that I am perfect. A perfect teacher has everything graded, perfect student work and pop-out sharks on their wall right!? Of course not, you say....but the fear is in being vulnerable.....what would you say if....? How would you see me if...? What if I'm the only one who.....?
The funniest part of the whole night for me is standing in the middle of the room and smiling like, "yes, my room looks like this everyday and it is a perfect representation of my teaching. Then the next morning, I'm frantically trying to locate my damn stapler!
As I've grown more passionate about trying to live an authentic life, I've come to find that I'm really aware (and frustrated) with situations that aren't authentic. More importantly I find that shove a lot of "crap" into my cabinets everyday. It's what we do, we innately show the facade, the smile, the idea of "yes, I am cool, or smart, or pretty, or popular, or......whatever it is for you." You see we put away the stapler and only show you the result of the stapler. We don't want to show the tools of what got us to our end destination....the blood, sweat, and tears. You see, I want you to think I magically got there, cause I'm cool like that.
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